I just received this email.

I’m having increasing difficulties with this laptop—-Adobe doesn’t work, slow responses on Word, freezes if I try to download software updates, etc. I want a new lap top NOW!

Of course this is the first I heard of any of this clients problems. About a million things went through my mind, first was to tell him to go jump in a lake, second was explaining that caps lock is rude and unnecessary, and the third was to just delete the email and forget about it.

However, none of those responses solve the problem, and isn’t that what the service industry is about? My sole goal at work is to solve problems. Whether the network is down, Microsoft Word doesn’t work, or Adobe Acrobat is horrible software, my goal is still to solve problems.

What is your first reaction when someone yells at you about something that isn’t your fault?

It happens more often that I would like to think, but I get called by a client who has a computer that “won’t work” or “won’t boot up” or “won’t turn on”.  In any case I try to give them a little support before getting in the car.  Did you restart?  Does it make any noise when starting?  When did it last work?

So last week I get to the workstation and the laptop is turned off with the lid open.  I push the power button and nothing happens.  I turn it over and push the battery indicator button.  The battery is dead.  I check the surrounding area for a power cord and can’t find one.  I ask the user, “Where is the power cord?”  “Power cord?” comes the response.  “Ya, the one that charges the battery, it’s white, plugs into the wall and into the hole right here.” I said.

User: I didn’t know I needed it, I left it at home.

Me: You didn’t know you needed to plug in your laptop?

User: I didn’t know I needed to do it every day.

Me: You’ve been using this laptop for 3 months, what have you done up until today?

User: Today is the first day I went to use it.

Me: So it’s been sitting here on your desk for 3 months?

User: No, it’s been sitting on my front passenger seat.

Me: In a case?

User: No, should it be?

Me: (What I wanted to say) Nope, thieves prefer to know what they’re stealing before they break into a car!

Me: (What I actually said) First of all it shouldn’t be sitting in your car unless you’re in the car with it.  Leave it at the office in your desk drawer, or take it home with you to keep it safe.

Yes, this is my average day.  Who’s next in line for help?

As I walked into the office, I could smell something foul.  Like the smell when you open a container that has rotten food, but the entire room smelled that way.

As I walked to the computer I moved past 4 coffee cups with green and white stuff (fungus?) growing at the bottom of all 4 cups.  I was sure they hadn’t been used in weeks.  As I sat down at the chair, I expected to be attacked by small green aliens or perhaps get a disease.

As I turned to face the computer I saw this:

Now I’m not a germaphobe, but the first thing I did after fixing this computer was run to the bathroom and scrub (not just a regular wash) my hands.  Soap wasn’t enough and I wished I had a small bottle of bleach.